Ever been here???
When a friend shared how a pine cone is a metaphor for relationships this morning, young and closed vs older and open, it sent me time travelling backwards to one of ‘those’ moments, an instant where my being was flooded with insight. The event was an epiphany, so meaningful that it bridged lifetimes and longings as it instantaneously transformed my attitude towards relationships. In that moment, the most important seed of my destiny took root in my heart, engraving itself on my brain as if to insure that I remembered it. Alas, being human, I often failed to remember, and as a consequence know too well what it is to be ‘fluffed’, lied to and manipulated into ‘forgetfulness’. Sadder still is that this is something that, like most, I've too often done to myself, but on too many occasions I've allowed others to anesthesize my memory.
It happened shortly after my move to Nechung Dorje Drayang Ling, a jewel of a monastery sitting on the edge of the rain forest on the Big Island of Hawaii. After traversing some of the most difficult and dangerous terrain on earth, an hour after the sun set into the Pacific Ocean, a group of friends and I arrived at the edge of the world. We were standing where Kilauea, one of the world’s most active volcanoes, was sending lava into the sea. Only feet away molten rock flowing from Pele’s womb created a fury in the ocean. What was happening was as spectacular as it was terrifying as scalding water and shattering lava went flying in every direction as ghostly plumes of toxic steam roared into the night sky. Every few moments the ground beneath our feet shuddered sending an echo reverberating through every cell in my body. When the sand shifted beneath the stones and we suddenly had difficulty keeping our balance, we retreated quickly. An hour later, adrenalin raced through us as individuals and a group when we heard a rumble then watched as a huge chunk of land fractured and crashed into the sea about ten meters away. The illusion of intelligence instantly vanished as the sense of being stupid beyond belief seemed far more accurate. No doubt we had issued a cosmic dare to Pele by travelling to this place and frankly, I was concerned that she might just double down on the bet.
Realizing that in too many ways we were trespassing, it seemed that the little happy dance I’d done when we arrived had registered more than zero on Mother Nature’s Richter scale. Clearly, she was in control and suddenly it was clear that as magical as it was to watch the birth of some of the newest land mass on the planet, I was standing the cusp of certain death if the she decided to take a scratch. Before she could shift and move me in the ‘wrong’ direction, I turned and high tailed it well inland. There my cosmic musings continued, but this time without the fear of karmic retribution, my long held terror of dying by fire in water.
As my body relaxed, I surrendered to awe and my brain went into a deep meditative state. I know this because I ‘came to’ with an ‘ah ha’. It was a lucid instruction to 'reconsider everything I thought I knew about relationship'. Unsure whether to laugh or cry, this was and wasn't a gargantuan task. Why? I knew nothing about relationships that were real, the new word 'REALationship' instantly appearing in my head. The terms that followed were as meaningful as they were painful: I knew all about how it felt to put up with 'relationsnits'; I knew how much it hurt to have someone take a 'relationsnip' out of my soul; and I'd been near death, deathly ill, and gone through two NDE's in a state of ‘relationsick’ due to taking on too much ‘relationshit’.
That day I set out to understand the simple Pattern tied by the Mereon Matrix in terms of true and real relationships.
Tomorrow I’ll share some of those thoughts…