Relationships: Part III; Breakthroughs replacing Break-ups

In thinking about relationships, I realised how many words that begin or end with ‘break’ are paradoxical: breakthroughs and breakdowns; breakouts caused by home-breakers; heartbreakers being those who run away using the excuse that they to be a trailbreaker; icebreakers that are lies uttered by lawbreakers; heartbreak following emotional cloudbursts that lead to the longing for a new daybreak; just to name a few.

Growing through multiple endings after a Near Death Experience led to an unexpected new beginning, my heart longed to understand how breakthroughs were possible following so many breakups. Knowing that physical healing was possible after major injury, I wanted to protect my heart from breaking again. Seeing so few women thrive after being emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially thrashed in the war called divorce, I refused to fight. My decision, irrational though it may have been at the moment or seem even now, was wrapped around the notion that if the Universe gave me a task, it would surely support me. As the promise of ‘For better or worse’ shattered, ‘worse’ bested ‘better’. Even so, I refused to deny what I experienced in my dance with death, that the MUSIC, a harmony beyond words that I’d experienced as Love was knowable in life. What was, and remains true to this day, is that humanity needs to seriously redefine what on Earth “Love” is.

At this time, 1992, my understanding of the Pattern, the Love knot tied by the Mereon Matrix that I’d retrieved in the adventure over the threshold of death, was not understood save than for my intuitive and experiential knowing. Its beauty however, logically reflected the relationship between water and fire; the rainbow, the interstion between human hope and a Divine promise. The only thing I was sure of was that communication was the heart of the matter.

This led to the realisation why a shared language is critical, and how urgent it is for all participants to be fluent in common emotional, mental and spiritual dialects. Without this there’d be no possibility to make and keep a promise, lovingly sharing a moment, a meal or a lifetime. As my wondering deepened, I contemplated what might be possible if we choice to avoid false intimacy, engaging with any magic yet remaining in anticipation without becoming attached to an outcome. I had too much experience with projecting expectations on others and myself and realised full well that such nonsense was nothing more than premeditated resentment. Aware that this thought process would seem like a radical departure from normal, it was my strongest clue that it might actually be natural.

Considering how such an ‘invitation in’ would reshape the panoply of challenging occasions in every relationship, I vowed to become my own ’guinea pig’. Heaven knew I was ready to surrender my fear of abandonment, rejection, not being good ‘enough’, or being ‘too much’. It was time to start feeling and stop thinking that anything could compel me to ‘put on’, ‘give up’, ‘cover up’, ‘put up’, ‘dress up’, or ‘put out’, and simply appear as who I am.

I began asking myself and the cosmic muses how to intentionally redesign relationship, everything from a talk with my mom; a nose-to-nose with my child; a ‘dishy’ chat with a girlfriend; or a heart-to-heart with a potential intimate-other. The thoughts quickly expanded as there was clearly a link to how such a change would also affect interactions among colleagues.

Might it be possible to lift the notion of collaboration, elevating it to genuine cooperation? How would that change the dynamics of a board meeting?

Would it affect how those on both sides of the desk approached a job interview?

The following ideas continue to evolve, and I’m more than hoping that these thoughts will inspire you to dare to dream again; to renew a new vision for your life, and the world we share. So you have the courage to imagine what might emerge if you willingly took a risk, and said “Yes, I will trust myself, and from this place of inner knowing and surety, will invite another to…”

Bond without binding, gently held without needing to grasp, holding without clutching or holding back…

To listen, hear and understand without a need to fix, embracing one’s body and heart until they don’t hurt anymore…

Knowing without having to control or be right, experiencing and appropriately expressing what you feel right here, right now…

To remember that perfect is what we are not something any of us can do, embodying compassion without projecting or expecting…

Appreciating without suffering the false obligation to find fault, caring deeply absent the compulsion to take care of. . .

To co-create and participate in meaningful dialogues, not gossiping or asking another to take part in a mindless monologue of what has or has not passed…

To stroke the heartstrings of unity as your spirit flows, no longer choking on the cords of attachment. . .

Cherished for your divine to know what it is to be wholly supported without any fear of suppression.…

Inpowered to forgive being forgiven for the errors that come with forgetfulness…

Inlightened by a covenant of compassion to be freed from bitterness, your joy multiplied as sorrow is cleaved in half…

The list goes on and on, growing over the past years. I'll share more tomorrow and in the coming days, in the mean time am grateful for your passing this work, truly 'High Play', along. It is time to work together to make a positive difference, realising that because everything is made of stardust, nothing is different.

Lynnclaire Dennis

The Mereon Legacy CIC, The Pavement, 3 The Pavement, Hay-on-Wye, Herefordshire HR3 5BU , United Kingdom